Feelings

Some things just struck my head a moment ago. And this causes me to feel bothered all the while since I've stepped into secondary school. Secondary school is a place whereby fun and joy all there, not forgetting studies as well as a place to grow up. I see other primary school mates are enjoying their school life alot. Whereby, I could actually spell e-n-v-y out, literally. I don't like forcing people, I respect their decision and understand why. I'm sorry to those whom I always insist on having my own ways and causing y'all unhappy, y'all didn't express it, that doesn't mean I can't see it.

To me, in secondary school wasn't a nice place to be in. You'll see all sorts of people and you'll know that you couldn't be childish anymore. My feeling of everyone in school was, they're masked and ending up I couldn't express anything to them. Thus I keep it to myself, I just don't like it. You'll feel terrible when friendship problem occurs. I thought I could be like others, hang out and do things together with schoolmates, but ending up I'm always with my so called 'outside' friends. Still, the problem should have occur me earlier. Now I know that, I really see all sorts of people. I've really grown up since the 1st day of secondary school, I could see all the childishness within me. I just wanna have fun, and now, fun is not all that I needed.

Honestly, I'm really studying very hard now. Certain subjects that I couldn't score well and I'm trying very hard to excel it now. Here I am trying to help my friends, but it doesn't works, so I have to throw them behind, as in literally, and move on myself with studies. I don't know how to express it out to my besties, some, so I'll say it here. Though it's none of my business, but still, I'm really hoping y'all could excel better than me. I could see from the result slip that y'all are actually better than me. But where's the attitude? Please don't waste it, yall are smart people. Okay?

Secondary life is always nice, but, if there isn't obstacles, that won't make up the life in secondary school. Just like, a puzzle, without those sharp corners, there won't be a perfect picture anymore.

Somehow, these are how I really feel. I don't know how to say, and afterall, I'm happy enough to be with my friends, I want to excel together with them. And also there's one thing I always wanted to say, friends, I genuinely love y'all and friends are the most important thing to me.