learning

I loathe being alone and I loathe being in a crowd.
Because I'm in a crowd, I feel pressurized and not able to do whatever I could.
Because I'm in a crowd, it made me feel that I'm being alone, no matter what.
Because I'm alone, it make me feel that there's nobody to care for me even if there is, I'll feel it's all...
Because I'm alone, I tend to think too much.
Because people are never alone, that's why they won't know how to comfort me.
Because people are never alone, it made me feel that I'm making a nuisance out of it.
Because people are never alone, they will never know how I feel.

Because I know how my boyfriend feel about his past relationship, that's why I couldn't bear to complain to him about being alone at all. I'm sure he know how I feel even without complaining.

I'm getting more and more a coward.
It made me harder to voice out to anyone.
Where's the courageous me?

The society is such a hypocrite.
Because of it, it made me feel that the person I could rely on is only my boyfriend.

I'm drifting apart from what I am. I couldn't be me in front of most my friends, anymore.
It is hard for me to do so, cos I've been traumatized by it.

I don't know what else could describe my long term vex.

Is there anyone out there had been alone before?
Like, seriously alone.