day 3

day 3, 15 more days to go.

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I've never been sooo alone before. Been tearing for 2 days already, hopefully today I won't. Well, last night break down very badly suddenly. Thank you to Steph for your hug, Karen for tissue, Yijie, Wanjin and Kimleong for being there for me last night. I can't help it but break down. Probably I'll be fine today, no guarantee. I just feel like isolating myself in my room for as long as I can. Even if I go out, so what? At the end of the day I'll have to get back home on my own and alone without baby. ='( Mummy don't feel safe for me cos baby's not with me. She rang me up last night and tell me not to go back so late cos I'm alone.

I can't help but wanting to sleep to prevent myself from tearing again.

Sigh, seriously I'm missing baby very very very very badly. Fuck my life. There I go tearing again.

I wish I'll have you with me now, but there's nothing I could do...

=(